To The Board of the Ottawa County Fair
Posted by Tasha on August 24th, 2009 in Uncategorized
Dear Sirs:
Last but not least of the violations of Rule 1, sirs, was this little number:
And…I just spontaneously became pregnant with three sets of twins. Maybe four.
The 2009 Ottawa County Fair reckless rule-breaking madness didn’t end there. Just look at the following photo accounts of violations of Rule 2 I recorded while visiting your ignoble and base gathering of beasts:
That this man, dressed in overalls and a trucker’s cap, was posed to look incredulously at a tornado shelter in the middle of a public fair was obvious.
Perhaps your fundraising efforts will yield a surplus profit that could cover shipping costs incurred by sending the following specimens in violation of Rule 3 to appropriate authorities for study and, if necessary, deportation to their native planets:
See how these beings perplex your locals. This befuddled man was later seen putting cereal in the refrigerator and milk in the pantry and, later still, beer in the grill and burger patties in the makeshift ice bath he made in his wife’s prized Maytag.
As for this specimen, no one has seen or head from it since its escape from this year’s Ottawa County Fair:
If local search parties are unsuccessful in locating this escapee, I would be happy to help connect you with the federal or even intergalactic authorities, both of whom seem particularly interested its apprehension.
Thank you, sirs, for your attention and prompt cure of these violations. I trust the 2010 Ottawa County Fair will warrant a different sort of letter entirely – perhaps a benign form letter, or maybe even a congratulatory one, if you play your cards right.
Warmest regards,
Official Blogger of the Tulsa State Fair Cheese on a Stick
Auxiliary Strawberry Newberg Photographer
Amateur Funnel Cake Taste-Tester, API (Always Prepared Interpreter)
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6 Comments to To The Board of the Ottawa County Fair
Traveling Spork
On August 24, 2009 at 11:14 pm
What am I doing with my arm? I notice I old my thumbs weird. Weird. Anyway, glad you liked the faire and always happy to help clean crap off your stroller.
suburban hippie mama
On August 25, 2009 at 1:58 am
Be careful joking about having twins young lady…it just might happen
Redneck Diva
On August 25, 2009 at 5:49 pm
DADGUMMIT! I have only missed TWO Ottawa County Fairs in my LIFE and this was #2! I am distraught. And disappointed.
And also borderline whizzed you didn't tweet me so I could come stalk you or something. You and Traveling Spork and your desire to not be stalked are just no fun if you ask me.
Redneck Diva
On August 25, 2009 at 5:50 pm
HOWEVER
At the GNO….there will be stalking.
You've been warned.
Matt & Alisha
On August 25, 2009 at 10:19 pm
I am agreeing with Redneck Diva. And I went two nights since I couldn't get enough in one night!!!! I think that stalking would have been fun!!!
Anonymous
On November 20, 2009 at 1:20 pm
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