Tasha Does Tulsa.

Our son has been trick-or-treating before. Well, sorta.

It was last year, when he was about 20 months old, when, because he was too small to walk the neighborhood, we took him in his bad-ass jogging stroller that can hop curbs and fly like the wind and run over other small children with ease.

So, does that even count as having done the trick-or-treat gig before?

By my estimation? No. In fact, I bet even his third year of trick-or-treating will feel a lot like the “first-ever.” That’s one of the cool things about being a little kid: For the first few years of life, everything seems brand new and warrants an unabashed sense of wonder, even if you’ve actually done whatever it is that’s so amazing before. Because your memory span is not much longer than that of a goldfish.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

So, our son is going to go trick-or-treating on his own two feet this this year. Since he’s somewhat afraid of his own costume – even though it’s styled after a bottle of his most favorite drink ever (root beer – what else?), it slips over his head, and when it comes to things being on his head he’s kinda like that guy on There’s Something About Mary who has that unfortunate and violent sensitivity about his ears – I wanted to get in a few practice runs before the big night.

Before we headed to my aunt’s house to do just that, I wanted to first see if the kiddo had any idea about what we were about to do.

TDT: Hey there, my snookie pie lovey bear little man baby (heh). Do you know what Halloween is?
Son: Yeah. I know what Halloween is.
TDT: Yeah? So what is it?
Son: Girls wear butterfly wings and boys wear chicken hats.
TDT: Uh…
Son: Yeah. My chicken hat is asleep over there. *points*
TDT: In your toy box?
Son: Yeah. Chicken hat sleeping in toy box.
TDT: So, hey. Do you know what trick-or-treating is?
Son: *silence*
TDT: Remember? It’s that thing where you knock on the door or push the button (this is how this kid understands ringing a doorbell) and when someone answers you shout, “Trick or treat!” And then that person puts some candy in your trick-or-treat bag.
Son: A treat???
TDT: Yeah, a treat!
Son: Can I have treat now?
TDT: Sorry, we’re fresh out of treats. But everyone will be happy to give you a treat on Halloween. You have to wear your costume, though.
Son: *silence*
TDT: But that’s OK, because you have one. Remember?
Son: Yeah. I have a costume.
TDT: Do you know what you’re gonna be for Halloween?
Son: Chicken hat.
TDT: Actually, Daddy and I found a root beer costume for you.
Son: Root beers? Go get root beers now???
TDT: I have a feeling that this interview is over now.
Son: Mommy?
TDT: Uh-huh?
Son: Hey, Mommy?
TDT: Yeah?
Son: We get in my car, go get root beers now??

His briefing thus disposed, we decided it was time for a semi-dry run of this trick-or-treat action. Off to my aunt’s we went.

And here’s what happened there.

I think we’re mostly good to go. As long as we can keep the boy moving instead of letting him stop after each house and eat his candy on the porch like he wanted during this practice run, I think we’ll live to see Nov. 1.

How did you get your first-time trick-or-treaters ready for one of the biggest nights of his/her childhood?

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